Becky's Farm Life

The simple life, living off God's land, one day at a time.

I have really missed you all

I have not had much time lately. Tommy is getting weaker everyday. His time to go home is nearing. I am not ready for him to go but I know when he does he will no longer be in pain.  And I have been trying to plan what TommieLynn and I will do in the future. And that’s really hard. I have been really tried in body, mind and soul. Only by God’s grace do I get through the days and nights. Please pray that God will show me what to do?

Hopefully I can get back on here soon. I really miss you all. Hope you all are doing good. I think of you all daily.

Becky

March 7, 2009 Posted by | Prayer, update | , | 7 Comments

An update on Tommy–The Lord does it again

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 05, 2009 09:30 PM, EST

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 05, 2009 09:30 PM, EST

Tommy is in the hospital tonight and should be home tomorrow. I had to call 911 at about 11am to come and get him. He was having a hard time breathing, his skin was more yellow, and his pulse keep going higher.

The doctor in ER said that Tommy’s blood ememzines (?Spell) were very low and his hemoglobin (?spell)was really low, which was making it hard for him to breath and making him feel like he was smothering. Tommy’s blood was not carrying oxygen like it was supports too. The doctor believes the cancer has gotten into the bone marrow and is eating the red cells. They are giving Tommy 2 pints of red blood cells tonight, which will help him feel better and breath easier. This is only a kind of quick fix and will only last a few weeks at most. Kind of like giving him morphine for pain. Tommy can chose to get more blood but we have no insurance and this time we with in through the ER. The ER doctor said that the 2 pints of red blood cells were very expensive. I don’t know what to do next? But tonight he is getting them. The rest is in the Lord’s hands.

Tommy was looking a little better when I left, but very tired. He was not as pale looking. Please keep praying for us. And thank you all for your prayers.

Becky

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 06, 2009 09:15 AM, CST

mom called from hospital this morning dads hospice dropped his case last night we need hard fast pray now for a new hospice to pick up tommy please pray hard

tasha

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 07, 2009 04:11 PM, EST
Thursday evening: After Tommy was settled into his room and I had talked to the nurses, we went home. By this time it was really dark, ( I can’t see to drive at night, I’m blinded by on coming head lights). So I followed Tasha in her car, which really helped. Well about a mile from the hospital, my windshield was dirty, so I sprayed it and turned on the wipers. Well being my brain was not working well- my windshield is now a sheet of ice, while driving down the road. I had to roll down the drivers window to see to pull over. Tasha came back to see why I had pulled over, I told her- she said mom it’s 10 degrees. I just cried as I scraped ice off the windshield. The Lord then got us home safe and sound. Thank you Lord. After we got home I called some family with the update on Tommy and thankfully they passed it on to others. I was so very tired both mind and body. I prayed all night: Lord, will you please send us a better hospice or give ours now a heart to help Tommy. Friday: I awoke praying the same prayer. Tommy called a little after 8am saying the doctor had been there and he was ready to go home. I started getting ready to go get him; and dread, worry, fear started to cover me and I started shaking. It all came on so fast and that to scared me. Instead of letting my mind have it’s way – I started saying the 23rd Psalm out loud then said 2 Timothy 1:7 “My God did not give me the spirit of fear: but of power, and of love and of a sound mind.” I kept repeating these two all the way to the hospital. It was a fight, and by the time I got to the hospital, I was calmed down and had peace. Thank you Lord.

I went in and talked to Tommy and then went to tell the nurses I was there. While I was packing up Tommy’s things, his room phone rung. I answered it. It was the hospices head RN, I told her I was going to call as soon as I got home. She said no need too, that they dropped/discarded Tommy’s case last night and we could not leave the hospital until we found another hospice to take up his care. I asked, Why? She said because I had took Tommy to an uncontracted hospital for treatment. I said he was having trouble breathing. She said, we are no longer his hospice and hung up.

I can honestly say, if I had not prayed all morning- I know I would have lost my mind with a nerves breakdown. Thank you Lord for preparing me. Now I’m in total shock!!
Tommy saw my face turn white as I was hanging up, and started to ask me, but I just held up my hand for him to give me a minute. I took a few deep breaths and tried so hard to pray but worry and fear came in again fast. So I told Tommy everything. Then started making phone calls asking for fast prayer, as I just could not seem to get the prayers out at that moment. Then I called our family doctor( they had set us up with the first hospice) and told them what happened(they had told me to take Tommy fast to an ER yesterday), She said she would look into it and get back to me. Honestly, now I’m shaking and wrapped tight in fear and worry and my mind is on overload. I asked to talk to the head nurse to see about talking to the hospitals social worker, she said she’d send her to the room. So I go back to the room to wait. Tommy says he wants a candy bar, so off I go to get him one. While on my way back to the room a small voice says, ”You asked for a new hospice, but I’ll do it My way.” I started crying and asking for forgiveness for my lack of faith and for worrying. And an overwhelming peace filled me. Thank you Lord. I walked into Tommy’s room crying and he asked why. I told him of my prayer last night and this morning and our answer coming. He cried too. We both thank the Lord and took a few deep breaths. We both had to fight hard to keep fear and worry away and hang on tight to His words for a few hours. We kept talking about all the prayers He has answered over the years. Then the call came from our family doctor, they found us a new hospice who would pick up Tommy’s case. And would be coming to the hospital as soon as our doctor signed and faxed them the paper work. Tommy and I gave thanks again to the Lord. They came and we signed papers.

Tommy and I left the hospital about 3 pm. The new hospice nurse was at our house at 5 pm. She was wonderful, and said they would get Tommy’s pain under control ASP. Tasha came home while she was still here. I had sent her out for a fast food dinner. I was totally worn out with no strength left to make dinner. Thank you Tasha for running into town for me.

The nurse called me an hour and a half later: She said that so far with the information she was plugging in, they would cover his cancer, but not sure yet if they could cover his COPD breathing meds, but no matter what I could keep the oxygen machine. With a peaceful heart, I told her ,“to do what she could do and the Lord would see to the rest. If it turns out we have to buy his COPD meds and inhalers that the Lord would provide them or a way to get them.” She said, “ she agreed as she to has seen the Lord answer prayers and knows He takes care of His own.” Tommy’s and my bodies are worn out , but our spirits are joyful and peaceful.

Thank you Lord for walking us through yet another day and for blessing us so. And answering prayers in Your way and in Your time. Thank you for forgiving us of our weak faith and trust.

Today looking back I now see: the Lord prepared me for bad news ( hospice letting us go), reminding me He is still answering my prayers in His way and His time, walking with us in what felt like our darkest hours, strengthening our faith and trust in Him, renewing our hope in hospice people. Thank you Lord. But in order for us to grow in him, and our faith and trust to grow: we must go through trials, fears, unknowns, lonely times to be able to see His hands and love in it all. That’s were faith and trust become stronger with each trial we look back on. When going through trials we do not always feel Him near us and helping us- But He NEVER leaves us- not even when we don’t feel him. Thank you Lord for carrying my family through another trial. And please help us to always remember this trial and the work you did in it when the next trial comes.

Saturday: Tommy had some pain last night but morphine stop it. The new hospice nurse was out this morning. She is going to be asking the new hospice doctor Monday morning for: morphine sulfate MSER 100 mg (she said if by second dose it’s not working they will up it); a new sleeping pill, a much stronger anti- inflammatory, and a few other things. What a great blessing not having to wait a week plus for something to work and go up on dose.

Tommy had corn beef hash and eggs to eat. Then watched some NetFlixs. And is now going out on the porch to get some vitamin D with it 70 it’s nice and warm for him.

I can’t thank you all enough for all your prayers, Thank you.

God Bless you all,

Becky

 

 

 

 

 

 

February 7, 2009 Posted by | blessings, hospice, Prayer, thank you, Tommy | , , , , | 7 Comments

Thank you for recipes and prayers

Thank you all for the recipes. Yes, I do have a crock pot. I have printed off the recipes you left and Tommielynn is getting to pick out which one’s she wants for dinner, which she loves. They all sound so good. Thank you again.

Yesterday and last night were bad for Tommy. I updated Caring Bridge last night and will update it nightly now. Tommielynn finally accepted the fact that her dad is dying. She broke down last night. We have told her everything, every step of the way. Please say a prayer for her.

Thank you all for your prayers as they get us from day to day. And all your wonderful comments really touch my heart. To know some many people care and are praying for us is a wonderful feeling. Thank you all again. May God bless you all to overflowing.

Very thankful and humbled,

Becky

 

October 31, 2008 Posted by | blessings, Prayer, recipes, thank you, Tommy | , , , | 7 Comments

God and i

Last week was a bad week. Tommy’s health was not good. I really had a hard time just making it from hour to hour. But I made it, and Tommy is doing better. A friend called this past Saturday and said that the Lord had laid me on her heart all week and that she sent prayers up for me. I just started crying. I told her about the week and that I know I made it because of her prayers. I felt alone last week, but God had some one filling in the gap. God was there watching out for me.

Then for the last two weeks or so, everyone including my hubby, keep saying how strong I was. Well I felt anything but strong, and honestly I have never felt so weak. I want to be truthful with everyone and no pretending.  I started praying, “Lord, why are they saying these things when they are not true.  Lord, I am no where near strong, I am at my weakest times. “  I keep praying about this, as it really troubled me.

Well the Lord answered loud and clear this morning while I was milking. And all I could do was cry and thank Him.

Here is what he brought to my mind, loud and clear:

“And  he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strenght is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.” 2 Cor. 12: 9 – 10

What an eye opener. They are not seeing my strenght but God’s. For when I am weak, then am I strong.

 

I posted this for a few reasons.

  1. When the Lord lays someone on your heart to pray for, please do it, and let that person know. It makes a big difference when you know someone is praying for you, and God is calling someone in to fill in the gaps.
  2. I want others to see how God works, and that He never leaves His children.
  3. Someone out there some where needs to read this. Is it you? He is sending it to you too.
  4. And so I will never forget: For when I am weak, then I am strong.

God loves each one of you.

Becky 

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September 16, 2008 Posted by | blessings, Prayer | , | 5 Comments

Updates: Home, Garden, canning, Tommy’s health

Good morning,

     We have had 2 days of blessed rain. Thank you Lord. The gardens and well really needed it. And it helped to cools us off.  It’s been up above 90’s, no AC in house, only AC in food barn ( some days I wish I was a jar of green beans and get to stay where it’s cool).

      The farm is doing great too. I am getting 21 + gallons of milk a week( I’m making cheese, ice cream, butter, canning, freezing, it all as Fast as I can), 80+ eggs a week ( I’m freezing eggs too, this works great when they slow down, you can freeze store bought eggs too), 2 chickens sitting( meat for this winter and replacing hens), 7 young chicks so far,  the beefalo bull will being leaving us soon( I need steaks and I do not want to feed him this coming winter), 7 kittens( any one need one).  I hope to dig up some new potatoes this week as I really do not want to buy any more store (yuck) potatoes, we ran out of our stored  potatoes from last year two months ago.  And tomatoes are almost ready to enter our bellies.

    The garden is doing great, the Lord has blessed it yet again. We got a load (big) of mulch, to put in walk  ways of the upper  garden. Which will save me a lot of time, in not having to weed so much.   I have canned 22 jelly jars of cheese sauce, 7 qt’s. of milk, 4  qt’s. of green beans,  froze 6- 2liter bottles of milk.  I’ll have to pick green beans again Monday.   This coming week I have to make strawberry jam, I had to freeze the strawberries because at the time they came in I was to busy to make jam. I have 8- gallon freezer bags of strawberries calling my name.   I dried 3 batches of herbs.

   Tommy is doing a little better. He still is tired all time and at times has a hard time breathing, but thank the Lord the pain is not as bad as before. We still have not as of today found a way to pay for his med’s or doctor visits. So please keep praying.

We are so blessed,  we may have no money, but we have what money can’t buy. Thank you Lord, for your blessings on us.  Lord, help me to always count my blessing and not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow is in YOUR hands. Thank you for always supplying all our needs.

Thank you all for your friendship. May God bless you all.  Becky

 

 

June 29, 2008 Posted by | blessings, food storage, garden, Prayer, Stocking up, Tommy | , , , , , | 2 Comments

We need fast and had PRAYER, please

We need some heavy and hard prayers going up fast, please.
We got a call this morning saying Tommy will get Social security Disability starting in July. For $998 a month.
So I called our medicaid worker to tell her. She told me that Tommy would no longer qualify for his low income medicaid for July or after that. She said it was more than the $424 a month limit. She said that she is sending another app. for an Adult Type Medicaid, but she does not know if he will qualify. We just have to fill it out and see. She said she knows it helps with Medicare(people over 65, he’s only 62), She said the other part of it will pay some on meds and dr. bills. But in reappling, it’ll take 30 -60 days for an anwser. And his medicaid ends June 30th. So we need prayer that all goes well, and fast. In July, Tommy has his Zometa treatment($2,000) an all his meds and his hormone therapy (IV one is $3,000 and the pill therapy is $5,600) plus all his doctor visits. I am sorry but I can’t figure out their thinking $998 a month will pay for all this. The medicaid worker said if he was getting SSI instead of disability, he would get medicaid. I really can’t follow that line of thinking? If you are not able to work, they will not help. But if you can work they will!! I am sorry but I’m just not getting this. And needless to say, I’m really ticked off.
But this I know GOD is in control. His ways are not our ways and HE is never late. Please pray that all this works out fast and in time. Please pray for Tommy and I, to put all this in GOD’s hands. To be very honest we are both scared, we have faith, it’s just a little weak right now. This has been a very long and hard fight.
Well I’ve a lot more calls to make. But needed to up date everyone and ask yet again for your prayers.
Thank you all very much for your prayers.
Becky

June 23, 2008 Posted by | Prayer, Tommy | , | Leave a comment